


Maternal Sonata: Crescendo

by harvestmooneve



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drama, Family, Gen, Humor, Romance, new generation, slight NejiTen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-01
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-11 05:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/474938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harvestmooneve/pseuds/harvestmooneve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata wakes up with children and a husband. The last thing she remembers is going to sleep as a 16 year old girl. Fortunately, she has a series of dreams that entail the link to where she is now - a mother and wife and renowned shinobi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Crescendo: a steady increase in intensity.  
_

_Sonata: a song that is played rather than sung using two instruments with different forms and keys._

_Maternal: related to motherhood.  
_

One morning, I felt like I awoke into a oasis if that's possible. Nothing was mine – not my long, blue hair, nor my fully grown body. I couldn't find my true appearance. Not in my own reflection or the description others told to me. I still had my identity that clutched onto despite the spiraling circumstance. My name, I knew, was still Hinata Hyuuga of Konoha.

It was only yesterday.

I wasn't in my room. The Hyuuga clan wouldn't dare furnish any quarter of the room with western styled furniture. There were still tatami mats on the floors and shoji lining the walls and their bed was still a futon.

Wait...their? Suddenly, it became apparent that a pair of strong arms were wrapped around me, restricting any sort of movement. I was someone's hostage. I had been abducted and didn't even realize it until that very moment.

"Mmm, Hina," the person's low voice indicated he was definitely a man, "I rather die before I let go. Care to try?" How did he know my name? I took the taunt as a real threat.

His hands caressed my breasts in such an intimate and loving manner that the only uncanny fact was that I enjoyed it. I squeaked and squirmed more, feeling a foreign sort of fury from being fondled by the stranger. The only rational explanation for this was that he was indeed my abductor and had drugged me into going to bed with him. "Stop it!" I spat out, attempting to push his hands from beneath my shirt if only long enough to clear my head to think.

The abductor jerked back and pulled his hands from beneath my shirt. "Yeah, I was trying to be cool this morning," he scoffed like I was the one with the problem. I felt him get off the bed. He sighed, "You sure you don't want to take a shower with me?" he almost whined. His voice was still low and almost a bit dejected sounding. He paused, waiting for my reply until the silence won over the room, "Well, I'll just take a piss and then if you decide to change your mind..." he paused then scoffed.

As soon as I heard the door shut, I shot up. It was a lot like my room, but someone else had picked out the curtains perhaps. The floors were wooden with a large area rug. Blue and red colors seemed to be the bases of the design. Looking out the window, I could see the Hokage tower less than four or five miles away. _So I'm still in Konoha._ I looked to the right and I spotted the door that man went into. My circumspect eyes instantly flared into Byakugan. The premises: warm, airy, and free of any major obstructions, but beyond this room I was surrounded by...children some seemed to be not much younger than I. Or maybe not.

The reflection I saw in the clouded mirror nearby didn't seem to be 16. In the corner of the room there was a proper-sized full-length mirror. I crawled from the futon to stand in front of it. I'd aged. Only ten years or so. I was definitely no longer 16. Otherwise, I remained unharmed. Not a scratch on me but darkened pouches hanging below my eyes. _Should I get up?_ I asked myself, before feeling my feet touch the ground to get a better look at myself. I raised left arm and my reflection mirrored it. Then I tried the right arm.

That woman was definitely me.

This had to be some sort of genjutsu twilight realm where I was trapped by someone's spell. I gulped down my panic, however and walked to the door opposite the man's exit. _If I look around..._ I thought but did not finish. Most of my mind was in the present. My senses were blazing as fear tends to cause. The panic was causing my mind to believe rather than observe, however. My senses had betrayed me and suddenly I came to a hypothesis that what lied beyond the door I held might as well have been a portal that led to a deep, dark void.

I opened it despite my better judgement. Even if my judgement was irrational, it was still wiser than my inclination to investigate. I felt like I was instigating danger upon myself. Slowly, I played the daunting notes of the creaking door that were changing in pitch. Would it cause more attention to open it slowly like this? Already I was reprimanding myself for such a simple task. Mostly, my home's surveillance depended on sight and not sound. As a ninja, however, she had to be aware that any sense could be someone's keenest.

This hall was just a hall with many doors, each one to a new room I knew nothing about. I searched for an exit that was probably near the end - pacing, running, nearly sprinting until I tripped into the living room.

Two children were playing cards at the coffee table. There was one boy – who must have been a pre-teen. His smile was so innocent and warm, but not carefree. By the way he held his arm, he seemed to have insecurities. About his surroundings or about himself? He seemed like a shy guy who often faded in the background, but for some reason he caught my eye first. Perhaps I saw him because he reminded me of myself. He wore a blue shirt that was identical to Uchiha Sasuke's as a child. And even his hair was like his only shorter. And his black eyes and black hair. Maybe he idolized the ninja.

I finally caught sight of myself - a younger, pre-teen version with black eyes...and black hair. No, that wasn't me. But out of the corner of my eye, I had felt like I finally saw my reflection. She was the same height I was, and though her hair was longer it was fashioned in the same, long-cut I had last night. Her face was shaped just as mine and so were her eyes! She wore a black shirt similar the shirt I used to wear beneath my jacket. She was powerful - not just in the amount of chakra she had, but by the way she intimidated the boy with her coal, stone eyes. The way she glared at anything and everything around her reminded me of the way Sasuke looked at Naruto - with such determination, but at the same time...burden?

"Hayato-baka, that was a stupid move. Stop trying to press your luck," the girl laid her cards down onto the table and smirked, "Seems like I've got a Royal Flush."

Hayato smiled, "Well, it's not about winning, Jin…" he said, but I could tell he was lying. He wanted to win,. "It's not like we're playing for money." He just didn't want to spoil the moment by reacting as sensitive as he felt. Somehow, I _knew_ that possibly because I knew the situation. He gathered all the cards from the table and began to shuffle. His eyes lowered in a sullen manor to the cards. Did he ever win?

They must not have been able to see me sprawled on the floor like a deranged inmate. The two went on to play another round of poker and I laid there in silence until a furry body ambushed me from behind, jumping on me. "Ah!" I shrieked. How did I not see him? My Byakugan was still activated and I must have thrown myself into a sort of void.

The body barked. It was a small, brown puppy that was followed by a young boy whom also landed on my back.

"Boo! Surprise! Hahaha." After laughing for a quick second, he replied to the silence by touching my forehead with his. He was a mischievous one. In a way, he reminded me of Naruto or Kiba, only he had a more slim build. Those red, fang tattoos on his cheeks gave away that he was an Inuzuka. What was a Inuzuka doing here? Maybe I _was_ still in Konoha.

Tanned skin and black eyes, he stood somewhat short but spoke even younger than he looked. He wore orange sunglasses and plain purple t-shirt, that complimented his long, uniquely spikey brown hair. "Aw, sorry. Are you okay, Aunt Hinata?" he got off my back.

Aunt?

"Mom!" said Hayato, he rushed to my side. "What happened, Bakura?"

Mom? My face began to overheat and I glowed red. This was a natural reaction to such a slip in words, right? But to be addressed in such a way was so empowering and familiar.

"What the hell did you do to Mom?" Jin crossed her arms and glared at Bakura.

Maybe I was going insane.

Doors opened behind me. The entire hall behind me seemed to erupt with voices. I looked back and three more children opened the doors from their rooms.

"Mom?" said the girl in a monotone voice. She wore a blindfold and had hair just like mine at one point. Her face showed little to no emotion.

Maybe I was the crazy one.

"Stupid." said one of the twins with long, black hair.

"Fool." Said the other in an identical tone and voice.

Maybe I was insane.

"Stop scaring Mom!" they both commanded simultaneously.

I was losing it.

Were all of the kids behind me really mine, too? Bakura helped me up, with one hand scratching his neck. I was hesitant to grab his hand at that point, but took it with a smile. _Should I introduce myself?_ I stood without saying anything, and made a full turn around to face the kids. They all had a combination of black hair, black eyes, mauve eyes, and bluish hair. They all had pale skin, and slim build. And according to their concerns, all of them were mine.

The door to the bedroom, I exited earlier slowly opened to a tall, slightly muscular, man with a towel around his waist. Heat rose to my cheeks and my heartbeat sped up immediately, for I had never seen a stranger this...naked before. I looked into his ebony eyes, and almost cracked a smile as his eyes held me tightly. Slowly, I recognized his features then I gasped gasped and looked away. _Uchiha Sasuke! I-Is he...?_

"Hina. Good Morning," he gave me a warm smile, but then looked all around at the faces staring back at him. He let out a deep sigh, "I was feeling grungy so I just...um...took a shower anyway." He stopped and glanced behind him then back to me, "I see you've already awaken **our children**."

He didn't say it bold; I only heard it in bold.

_Our children? Is this the future? Are we...married?_ Their features, their dispositions, their clothes, it made so much sense, but no sense at all. I was no idiot and there was confounding evidence. And who was going to explain all this to me? Would I have to just live life normally...married to _him_? I **hated** Sasuke for all that he did to the village and to Naruto. As long as I've known him, he's been the most selfish, con-artist in all of Konoha. He deliberately breached everyone's trust and he was just a bad person if ever there as a definition of the word!

If this is the future, then I forgive him and all his transgressions.

"Dad." The blind girl nodded at Sasuke.

Well, she confirmed it. Their children.

"Good morning, Mikoto."

Mikoto went back to her room and shut the door.

"Daaaad," whined the twin dressed in red. "Bakura totally just glomped Mom, and she fell down."

"Shisui!" Bakura tried to shush his cousin, but it was too late. "She was already on the floor," he protested, defending himself. "I thought she was just playing around."

"What does 'glomped' mean?" Sasuke crouched down, and whispered at me, puzzled. He was playful and coy and he didn't sound like Sasuke at all. I got chills down my spine when I felt his breath against my ear but I didn't shudder.

The other twin, dressed in blue spoke, "It means 'ambushed'."

Sasuke put his palm to his forehead and sighed, "Thanks, Fugaku…Bakura, please, don't do that. I don't think your mother's feeling okay today. So that means you'll have to take everyone to school, Hayato."

"Yes, but it's the weekend, Father." Hayato stood at attention, "We have no class. And I do that every day..." his words trailed off.

I spoke, "I'm fine, everyone. U-Uchiha-san?" I faced Sasuke. He pointed to himself, confused.

"Why're you talking to Dad like that?" asked Jin, suspicion in her voice. She narrowed her scrupulous eyes and switched from me to Sasuke.

Bakura and the younger children giggled at me.

He rose an eyebrow, "It's been a long time since you've spoken to me like that." It was almost flirtatious the way he smirked.

I blushed and looked away, "Can I talk to you in the bedroom?"

Sasuke's smirk grew into a grin and he kind of marched to the bedroom door in the oddest way I've ever seen anyone march. "Come in the bedroom. Kids, go about your day." He opened the door for me and the children stared at me as I walked down the hallway. Sasuke was different, but how? He had changed just as much as my appearance.

If this is the future, and he loves me, am I happy?

**hmfan24** : **I revised it a little bit, but hopefully this will set the story up a bit better. I appreciate if you read, thank you.**


	2. Pathetique

**_**Pathetique: the french word for pathetic which means arousing pity, sympathy, or compassion.  
** _ **

Sasuke shut the door behind him and came a bit closer. His face didn't hold the familiar scowl that it usually held. The ways his eyes darted and scanned me, he seemed aroused to some degree and enamored with...me? When he got closer, his eyes never left mine and even when I tried to divert them, he held my chin and tilted it up to his face and forced my gaze upon him, "Are you okay?" He lowered his voice.

"Y-Yes...um...I just feel like I don't remember anything."

He put his forehead to mine - our noses barely touching. While he was brimming with excitement, slowly, he began to frown. "You do seem kind of warm. Sorry, I shouldn't be messing with you. No wonder you were acting so weird..."

"No, but," I stammered. How was I supposed to explain I didn't remember making this life? "I don't remember any of this. Are those really our kids? I still feel like I'm 16." I failed to articulate as I usually do. By the time I finished, my arms were practically flailing. I was shaking and trapped and... I wished I could just accept my defeat and go back to whatever normal was for this life.

"Hina, calm down," He put his hands on my shoulders and I relaxed as my ' lover' said, "you must really be sick. I'll get Sakura to come and take a look at you." The way his eyebrows furrowed and his tone of voice seemed to have an effect on me that I'd never felt before.

I took a few slow breaths, relinquishing to my life from last night, "I'm sorry, Uchiha-san. I'll try to act like I always do. I'm just now sure how that is..." Was I still shaking?

Sasuke scoffed and snapped away. His face was engulfed in red. The contagion infected my face as well. "Cute..." he mumbled. After inhaling deeply through his nose, he brought my head into his chest. "Relax...I just want to make sure you're okay, alright?"

"..." I blushed and looked down at his hands. We were close. We were so close that I could hear his heart go from racing to simply beating. His heart sounded like any other but I liked the beat. He was going to take care of me. No matter how bad things got or how bad I got, I would be able to depend on him in this world. At least he was on my side.

"Alright?" he repeated and wrapped me in his arms. I didn't feel shy. It felt like no one had ever hugged me before but him. "Just close your eyes and breathe. That's all I want you to do." There was something paternal about it; at the same time, we felt connected in an intimate way. I would've compared it to hugging Neji, but this was different. Hugging like this was something only lovers do - long time lovers who have loved and would love throughout time. However, I'd do anything to feel this way in anybody's arms but Uchiha Sasuke. But at that point, I had no choice and whatever he was doing seemed to be working.

After my breathing became normal, I heard him begin to hum a tune that not even Neji or Hanabi knew. Uchiha Sasuke was humming me a lullaby? My heart rate rose again. I hadn't heard the melody since I was a young child. But the way he sang it, with perfect pitch, I didn't care who he was anymore. Somehow he knew how to conquer my anxiety through all my senses. And while I would've passed out by now, I gradually falling into place. He was keeping me grounded. I clung to him.

"We're out of rice." The door was opened and either Fugaku or Shisui peeked inside, "How could you let this happen, dad? You ate all of it didn't you?" accused the boy, nearly breaking us apart.

"Not now, Fugaku..." Sasuke said sternly without even looking at him. His arms were still wrapped tightly around me. I jumped at how harsh he seemed. Has he really not changed at all? Why, he was just as bad as my father. Judgement filled my eyes as I cracked them open.

"When's mom coming to make breakfast?" whined Fugaku with somewhat of a smile on. It almost reminded me of Kiba and how he would bug me about bringing bentoes to training. This was odd, seeing as though my cooking wasn't much to sneeze at. The main branch would rarely cook their own meals. Neji was even a better cook than me.

Sasuke snapped his head around. He snarled. " Can't you see that I'm busy with your mother? I said **not now** , didn't I? I'll make breakfast this morning!" he declared, then pointed to himself before wrapping it around me again. That was the Sasuke she was familiar with - the cold, sociopathic one who managed to take out everything on anyone. Apparently his own son was no exception.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood and then lied flat once he took a breath. Or maybe, he was stressed because when he looked to me again, he went to being the future Sasuke - the good one. I found it difficult to associate the two with each other.

"Your mother's not feeling well..." His voice dropped off into a listless mumble.

Fugaku faced towards the hallway. His head was low and his fists were clenched. He seemed...dejected or disappointed. Regardless of how good Sasuke was to me, there was no reason for him to be so to his children! I furrowed my eyebrows and prepared myself to reprimand him until his son woefully announced, "Mom's not making breakfast, everybody! Dad is..."

"Noooooo." echoed various whines from the hall.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Tch. There's nothing wrong with my cooking!" He shouted, making sure the entire clan could hear. "Excuse me," he said as he finally released me to stand to the door. His feet were planted firmly as he crossed his arms.

"Yes, there is!" retorted Fugaku with a grin, "And why are you all gooshy with mom today?" He dashed at Sasuke, pushing him over onto the bed.

Gushy? Like lovey-dovey? I guess that's what he was doing...She blushed. But he was just trying to calm her down. She wanted to shout 'It wasn't like that,' because she wasn't entirely sure what gushy felt like? Unless, it was similar to the butterflies she felt in her stomach.

"I'm not 'gushy'! You're being ridiculous," he teased. Then the former rogue-ninja playfully pushed Madara up in the air, and held him effortlessly away from him.

Fugaku got frustrated, swallowing his distress. "No fair," he pleaded. He tried to hit Sasuke in the face, "You're taller than me, Dad." His arms hung limply towards his father's face.

"You shouldn't aim for the face anyway," lectured the father, reluctantly as he shook Fugaku. "Why don't you just use your _stupid_ Byakugan? I can take it."

"Last time Sis used it, you started spitting blood, so Mom said we can't use it on family anymore," he reminded him.

"Yeah, but that was Jin..." replied Sasuke.

I stared at them in awe. Perhaps Sasuke wasn't as cold as he once was. This scenario seemed warm and foreign to anything I've known in the Hyuuga clan. I giggled, "B-Be nice." They both looked over at me with similar puzzled eyes. Sasuke's being ebony and Fugaku's being ivory. I blushed, "I'll...go make breakfast," I tried to excuse myself.

Sasuke sat Madara next to him and sat up, "Are you sure? I think you should rest." He remembered something, "Hayato!" he called.

In a split second, Hayato - the shy, oldest boy - came to the entryway, "Yes, Father?"

"Call Uzumaki Sakura and tell her your mother isn't feeling well. Be sure she doesn't bring Naruto." Sasuke commanded. Then he looked at me while running his fingers through his hair, "Well, are you sure you want to make breakfast?"

Hayato left to do as he was told. He seemed like such an obedient boy. Almost everything about him reminded me of myself. Was this how raising children was like?

Wait, did he say 'Uzumaki Sakura' as in...Sakura was married to Naruto? That made sense... I had guessed they were close and close people do get married eventually...sometimes.

I stood up to my feet, nodded then fell over. Sasuke reached for me before I hit the floor and laid me under the sheets. At the time, I thought about it, and I did feel a bit faint. "I'm sorry."

He was genuinely worried, "Don't apologize..." he frowned. His face revealed guilt. Maybe he wanted me to cook. Then he turned to Fugaku, "You shouldn't have tried to guilt your mother into cooking."

"You were gonna let her anyway-..." Fugaku defended himself but Sasuke lightly hit him upside the back of his head, "Ow, hey!"

"No, I wasn't!" he interrupted sharply, sincerely annoyed.

Fugaku dropped his coy routine and bunched up the sheets in his hands, "Sorry, Mom...you should rest."

"Now go prepare the fish." he ordered. Fugaku walked off, mumbling to himself. Sasuke held my hand in his hands, "I'll be right back. You can go to sleep if you want or whatever." He leaned over to kiss my forehead. I stayed silent, not sure what to make of his affection. He walked away to the door, put his hand to the knob then half-way turned his face around, blushing slightly, "Um...I shouldn't have guilt you into cooking and I'm sorry. Also..." He cleared his throat, and blushed more intensely, "I...love you." With that he exited and shut the door behind him quickly.

Seeing him like that. Wasn't normal. I meditated it over as I dozed off. I dreamed of what I knew to be the present. It felt so real. I wasn't a lucid dreamer, so whatever I saw and said, I couldn't control. It was a lot like watching a movie or flashing back to the past...rather the present.


	3. Chapter 3

_About 13 years ago_

The trees were blowing in the wind and I was in my regular clothes at my regular training spot with my regular friends. It was winter, the air was cold and the ground was free from snow for the time being. We were sitting beneath a tree having the typical bento lunches I prepared. Kiba was having what could be described as a conversation with Shino though Shino only replied 2 or 3 words at a time. He was shy like me in a boyish way. A lot of people think he's anti-social, but I think he feels like nature and bugs are able to understand him more. And then Kiba - well, he was always the kind that talked and never listened and he thought he ruled Konoha. He didn't like to think. He just liked to do whatever he pleased and we'd all have to pay for it.

The way it worked was: whenever we went on missions, Shino would tell Kiba not to talk, Kiba would talk anyway and then I'd have to be the one to apologize. That's the way it was even with the smallest D-ranked mission. But as a team, we always managed to get the task done. And we were good and so were the times.

It felt great being back in my 'real' life, but somehow it felt more like a dream.

They were talking about Naruto. I smiled brightly, and they both smirked at me then went back to their conversation.

"He fucking did it. Naruto did it!" Kiba grinned, talking with food in his mouth, "I knew the bastard would. I told you." He was getting to have a dirty mouth, but I didn't mind. Sometimes it was infectious.

"Did what?" Shino asked after a pause to chew his food.

"Got Sasuke back. After the war ended, he talked it over with the Hokage and they worked out some deal so he could live here again." he bragged, then continued on his lunch.

My chest tightened and throbbed. So Sasuke was back in the village...I knew the war was over and I knew Naruto was trying to get him back, but I had no idea that he'd actually accept. Sasuke had always scared me to some degree. Everyone deserves a second chance, I suppose.

Shino looked up into the sky, "I don't care for Sasuke much..." A beetle flew by and he smiled as he often does.

"Is that why you didn't go with us when we tried to get him back the first time?"

"No one invited me," said my buggy partner, as he lifted his head to the sky.

"Oh...yeah... whatever, man" Kiba slammed his chopsticks on his knee, "I hate that bastard, too! But I just think it's cool that Naruto achieved his dream and all."

"What are your thoughts, Hinata?" Shino looked at me, noting my distraught disposition.

"I-I don't know Uchiha-san that well, so I can't really say. If Naruto sees good in him, I'm sure he's okay."

Kiba chuckled, "Hey, that rhymes!"

We continued eating lunch - laughing and joking as always. A colder wind blew and I shivered.

"Speak of the devil!" shouted Kiba.

Sai, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke formed a half circle around us. Why were they here? I stared at the ground. Sasuke was the only one dressed in casual clothes - a black muscle shirt and some long khakis. From what I heard, he wasn't allowed on any missions. He wasn't allowed off the premises. And he wasn't allowed to fight unless it was a monitored sparring match. I always heard a lot about Sasuke from my family since their traditional disdain towards the Uchiha warranted rumors to spread fast around my compound. Even before, when we were younger and innocent, I warned not to associate with Sasuke, for Uchiha were tainted. I didn't really buy into it - not as much as I do now.

Naruto stood between Sakura and Sasuke. He held their arms together in front of them, almost forcing them to hold hands. Despite the effort, the two seemed to be awkward leaning in. The sunshine ninja greeted us, "Yo, guys. We were just taking Sasuke and Sakura on a date. And then we saw you guys and decided to show off the awesome couple." Naruto smiled mischievously and wiped his nose.

Part of me was relieved. Maybe the rumors weren't true. Maybe he didn't have feelings for Sakura. But something didn't seem right. Shino tilted his sunglasses up. We were close and so I heard him mutter, "Who takes two people on a date?" He then cleared his throat. I wasn't familiar with the methods of dating and I was surprised Shino was. But that was probably why something didn't seem right.

Sasuke probably had to be under Naruto's surveillance. So it wasn't that abnormal.

Sakura protested, "It's not a date, Naruto. Stop calling it that! We're all out together as friends." I thought she liked Sasuke. Not that it mattered, but I could've sworn she was against the idea of being on a date with him.

Sasuke sighed, ignoring Naruto's comment, "Hello," he spoke, out of the blue and out of his character. Maybe he was trying something new. Maybe he was trying to get reacquainted with his classmates. Or maybe he was just testing the waters to see where he was welcomed. Who knew? At that point I didn't care. I was only watching him out of the corner of my eye. I stared at Naruto's collar bone since I couldn't meet his eyes for one reason or another.

With as much courage as I could, I slowly looked up when Sasuke suddenly tried to make eye contact with me. It worked and for a quick second, we stared at each other for too long. I pushed my hair back and blushed before looking away in a cold sweat. I didn't have any feelings for him, but seeing a killer like that made my heart race more. Plus, with Naruto being there, I was already nervous.

"Naruto, weren't you the one who admitted it'd 'hurt' you to let Sasuke be with - ..." Sai was stopped by Naruto's chokehold.

"Hey, hey, now. Chill out!" Naruto let him go and took a seat next to me, "Can I have some, Hinata-chan?"

I couldn't hide my blush as I silently handed over my entire bento box to him and lowered my face. I was afraid that anything I said would be wrong or that.

"Why don't you just feed it to me? Ahhh..." he opened his mouth wide and leaned in towards me.

I lowered the box finally raised my head, our eyes were dangerously close. I was past-due fainting. But to be rational, I needed to know why he suddenly started giving me flirtatious attention. Was it because he was actually interested in me or he wanted someone to show interest or aversion to us? The way he leaned into me, and watched Sakura look away, I could assume the latter. But I didn't want to. No matter how much sense it made. I wanted to ignore the obvious - he wanted Sakura's jealousy to show. Right when Sakura was about to interject, and right before Kiba could get out any words, Sasuke spoke again, "Leave her alone...didn't you just eat, baka?"

All eyes were on Sasuke. Speculations, theories, explanations quickly ran through the group's heads. Why was he playing the good guy? All was silent and Kiba spoke, wishing to change the subject, "Hinata's birthday is, like, this week," he annoucend at got to his feet. He put his hand on his chest. "I have a mission day before it. Shino has a mission on her birthday so we were gonna celebrate tomorrow."

My birthday was coming? How embarrassing, I was used to just celebrating it with Kiba and Shino. But now everyone would be around me. Parties didn't bother me. We'd been having a lot of get-togethers since the war ended...since Sasuke came back. Being the center of attention was the part that unnerved me. In a way, I preferred privacy, for privacy was usually free of pressure. And among my brothers, Kiba and Shino, I could relax rather than feel obliged to socialize.

Naruto spoke for everyone in his team, "Yeah, we're up for it! Where're we going?"

But if Naruto was excited for it, then maybe a little attention would be fine. I hated feeling that way. And I knew, by him being there, I'd have an even less chance of being able to enjoy my party. Maybe the drive of wanting to beat Sakura at the popularity game that Naruto had set up. However, I doubted I could even if I tried. She was my friend, and I cared about Naruto, and so what good would it do to try to come between the two if they just so decided to come together. I frowned. Sure enough, when I looked up, Sasuke's dark eyes were studying me again. He seemed unashamed to be staring at me. So maybe I was thinking too hard when my face went red.

"Just out to that one restaurant by the ole' academy. It'll be around 6 tomorrow night." my dog-like brother pointed with his thumb behind him to the road that led to our former school. Hachibana was larger than Ichiraku and it had all of our favorite dishes. Kurenai treated us there after we completed high-rank missions.

"Alright! Yeah!" Naruto stood up and gave Kiba a hi-five, not even looking back to me. "Let's go show off the new couple to Shikamaru and his crew now."

So it was for the party. Not for me. If I didn't start letting go of him at that point, I'd hurt later on down the road. More importantly, Naruto was in pain, too. Happy people didn't smile perpetually like that. Not even Naruto. He was hurting. Maybe it was because Sasuke and Sakura were...dating? No, they didn't even seem interested in each other. Fact was though, whatever was going on in team 7, Naruto was in love with Sakura. And quite possibly, from the reaction she had to the way Naruto treated me earlier, she loved him, too. No, there was no denying that. I just had to deny my own feelings so I could be happy for them.

"Hey could you invite them for me?"

"Sounds good." With that, Naruto and his gang walked off.

"That's a good guy right there, Hinata," mentioned my teammate. He sat down and nudged me in the arm. For some reason, when he said good, Sasuke came to mind. I know I felt needy. But was I really so desperate that I'd think of Sasuke?

I frowned and shook my head. "I'm not so sure..." I said in a pensive murmur that only my brothers could hear clearly, but not even they could understand it.

* * *

Later the next night, we made our way to the Hachibana restaurant. I had decided to dress in casual wear, opting to wear a black t-shirt and jeans, my hair was in a low ponytail, my face free from bangs. Having all eyes on me felt unorthodox. I knew I'd be flustered and I walking in the opened door. The savory smell of many various dishes blew to the entrance. Was it just me or was the inside overheated?

Shino was holding the door for me, "After you," said he.

Like an announcer, Kiba jumped before me. He put one foot on the table and cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he began in a drawn out shout, "may I present to you - the sweetest girl in the world that's growing up wayyy too fast: Hyuugaaaa Hiiiiinata."

My face was hot, I closed my eyes and bowed several times as everyone clapped. This was so embarrassing. But this was the biggest birthday celebration I ever had. The Konoha 11 -...12 was definitely getting closer. "T-Thank you all for coming." My hair hung in my face though I peaked beyond my bangs to search for Naruto. Even he was there.

I sat between Kiba and Shino at the head of the table. Everyone seemed so content.

Ino was bantering Shikamaru for forgetting to buy me a present as was Chouji defending him with a mouth full of food. Rock Lee was in a fit of tears over my maturity while TenTen was pushing Neji to do something, threatening him in all sorts of ways. Naruto continued to try to get Sasuke and Sakura to do romantic things like placing Sasuke's free hand (the other already held a cup of sake) on Sakura's. Sakura grew furious. Sai sat in silence, smirking. These were all my friends. And so, how could I have felt so lonely among them?

Someone tapped me on my shoulder and I looked back to see Neji had behind me. I turned around and smiled. He paused for a moment before he spoke, "I wanted to congratulate you personally. Please accept this." He presented me with a necklace that held a reflective silver heart.

"Thank you, Neji!" It was beautiful. I let him put it on me and turned back towards him, "You didn't have to."

"You look great with it..." He gave a small smile and then scratched the back of his head. "Anyway, that was all I wanted to do and..." He stopped to actually look at me. "Bye." He walked away. Things had changed between us since we were younger. These days he actually acted like my big brother. Beyond his duty, he wanted to see me happy and safe. He loved me. I mean, most of the other members of the clan hadn't changed, but since the war, they respected me as a proper ninja. Unfortunately, they still didn't see me fit to be their leader and there was already talk that Neji would succeed my father.

The moment I faced forward, Sasuke was looking dead at me. How long would he look at me like that? I gritted my teeth. It was frightening - his lifeless eyes were wide and stared into me as if I were the space he was being lost in. Maybe I was lost, too because I failed to notice Sakura's sobs until she said something.

Sakura stood up, tears in her eyes, "Everybody, I just want to let you guys know that I'm not in love with Sasuke anymore. I love Naruto. Did you hear that, Naruto? Now, can you just...stop..." she sobbed. "Stop trying to push me to him when it's you I want!" With that she ran out of the restaurant.

Naruto stayed there, lost for words. Ino stood up, "I'll go get her."

"No, Ino," said Sai, "Naruto, you have to-..."

Naruto jumped before his teammate could finished his sentence and dashed to the exit.

It happened. My eyes saw everything and I didn't turn away. I was brave and strong and would be from now on. Yes, because no matter what Naruto did or decided, he'd make me stronger like he always did. Even if it was something like my childish heart being afflicted by circumstance, I was stronger.

Kiba broke the awkward silence, "Well, that was a downer!" He chuckled falsely, trying to make light of a dark situation. Then he turned to me, concerned and whispered, "You okay, Hinata?"

I nodded. Naruto was going to get a girl he must've been after for a while. Two of my friends would be happy and things would be...great. It would be, because I'd find happiness in someone else one day, too. We all would. I bit my lip, "Y-Yeah..." Or maybe I'd just find love in myself. That was the important part. I grinned - a wide grin for the first time in a long time which somehow warranted my teammates' concern. They frowned and knew to drop all their questions. The party was finally starting to clear out when Kiba and Shino stood up simultaneously. Kiba spoke, "I need to get outta here, I got a mission to get ready for. Shino, you have something to do, too?"

"Yeah. You'll be okay, Hinata?" Shino replied.

"Mhm, I just want to finish my food and all..." I was a slow eater, but I was willing to pick up the pace in order to get home at a good time. Neji must have left by then - not that I expected him to stay by me all the time. I wonder if he thought my teammates were going to walk me home like they usually do. Regardless, I could walk home myself...alone. I frowned at the thought. It seemed like everyone had plans afterwards. Sai was out with Team Asuma and Neji's team went to Tenten's house. Then Naruto left after Sakura. Then Sasuke...he was still here.

Kiba stretched, "Aw shit, that Uchiha bastard is drunk. Just look at him...sigh," he pointed to Sasuke who was sipping another cup of Sake. The Uchiha was still conscious but barely and staring off into space and wavering from side to side. "Anyway, bye...and this goes without saying but stay away from him, okay?"

They both left.

The only ones at the table were me and Sasuke. He slurred a bit, "Hey."

I didn't know what to say, I squirmed in my seat, and reconsidered following my team home. The outcome of anything I did looked bleak. If I paid him attention, he'd pursue a conversation. If I ignored him, he'd probably get mad.

"Hyuuga..." he said softly though his eyes narrowed to study me.

"Um, yes?" I tried to answer politely, but something told me not to answer at all.

For some reason, his eyes seemed _less_ lifeless. Sliding down a few seats, he was now sitting next to me where Kiba once was. Perhaps this was because his eyes were a glossy onyx instead of the dull black I was used to seeing. Drunk people's eyes water. Through his stupor, he noticed me feeling uncomfortable and widened his eyes in fear of himself? "No, no, no, I'm not gonna _hurt_ you or nothin. I just wanna _talk_ , okayyy?" he assured me, taking on a raspy, soft tone. Some words he over emphasized, maybe so that what he said could made sense to himself, too.

By nature, I was prudent and sensible and knew not to talk to strangers like Sasuke casually. Powerful, drunken strangers who could take advantage of me even if I had my wits about me. Yet, I couldn't help but yield to my own generosity and weak heart and I was curious enough to hear him out. Curiosity killed the cat, I knew. But acted anyway. "About what?" I asked, quick and short. Then my head sank as I watched him. My hands itched, prepared to strike if need be. Though when Neji drank a lot, however, he would just have these random, drawn-out rants about his disdain towards cats.

"About everything...I want to talk about everything with **you**. When I look at you, I get a feeling that you'll listen to everything I'll say and you'll understand, too..." He sighed, "God **damn it**! I sound so stupid."

I stuttered, "N-No, you don't. Go ahead, I'll listen." Although I didn't understand why he chose to yell the words he yelled. After all, he was already speaking pretty loudly.

Sasuke's face reddened as he took another sip of sake. It must've been the alcohol. "No one believes in me anymore. My team does, but no one else thinks that I'll be any good in Konoha. They should've just executed me or something..." He looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I couldn't. This person, pouring his feelings out to me was a complete stranger, "I regret so much, but for some reason...when I saw you, it was like..."

"...?" I was curious. He looked away, regretting saying anything. There was another burst of silence, allowing me to just look at the Uchiha. He was the villain and now we were having a casual conversation. For some reason, in this light, Sasuke sounded more human than ever. I did understand how he was feeling - to have no one really believe in you.

"Sakura thinks I fell in love with you already," he laughed, "Crazy, huh?"

I didn't like where this was going. This was the first time I said anything to him since we were really young. I'm sure there were times at our clan meetings where we'd met and a few brushes at the academy, but nothing enough to warrant love. I stayed silent. Did he mean what he was saying? It didn't make any sense. What did he see in me? There was nothing exceptional about me to begin with. Perhaps he was lonely and trusted my smile to be non-judgemental. Though I was. I was just as bad as everyone else when it came to making my criticisms on his past. I didn't understand him at all.

He kept laughing then paused to stare at me, "Holy shit, fucking beautiful. Fuck," he whispered. I was red now and buried my head into my arms. This was flattering in a sick and twisted way. This was indeed one of those guilty pleasures. "Anyway, did it hurt you when Naruto went after Sakura?"

Those lines wouldn't work. He wanted something. I stirred.

"Kind of." I mumbled. My face grew hard and stoic. Somehow I felt guilty for not sharing any of my feelings with someone who seemed so interested. "Don't tell anyone," I stressed. Hopefully he'd forget by morning. Of course, if he were loyal to anyone, it'd be to his teammates - not me. The cat might as well have been let out of the bag at that point. There was no reason for him to adhere to my requests.

Sasuke frowned. He raised his hand then dropped it to his side. "I might've caused that. She got to talking to me about all these feelings I must have for you and crap and I accused her of having feelings for Naruto. Then Naruto's been trying to get me to **fuck** her or something. I don't know what the hell is going on," he admitted. As he threw his hands up in reluctance, he knocked over my glass of water onto my lap. " **Shit** , I'm sorry!"

I grabbed a napkin and wiped myself off a bit, "I'm fine. It's just water." I looked at the table, and the food was gone. The clock read about 8 and it was dark outside. Sasuke seemed to be beating himself up about something. "You're really strong from what I hear and just as long as you...um...keep a good heart, you'll be a hero one day."

"Wow..." he smiled brightly like he wasn't Sasuke, "that was really nice of you to say that." He looked at the clock, too, "I'll walk home with you since I want to follow a beautiful girl home…no, wait, fuck, I didn't mean to sound creepy again." As he got to his feet, he reached his hand out for mine, "Um...ladies first and shit," he said even though he was already standing up. Clearly, he didn't know how to be charismatic and that somehow made him all the more charming.

I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. When we got outside, it was even colder than yesterday. Winter was truly here. The air felt crisp and new as we walked forth to my house. Maybe there would be snow this year. Snow like the color of Sasuke's skin. I was used to admiring the tan skin of Naruto but pale skin wasn't that bad either. At least it was an even-tone, though he had light scars in various places. "You really aren't as scary as I thought you were," I whispered and tried to stifle everything I was thinking.

"You thought I was scary?" he was shocked for some reason and seemed somewhat offended, "Damn, I didn't _mean_ to be like that... to you, anyway. I just had stuff do, you know...I'll tell you about it when I'm sober. I need to sleep."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I defended myself, sorry for hurting his feelings.

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?" he played with one of his bangs, looking down. "I see the most beautiful, perfect girl I've ever met and I scare her." His eyes were glazed over.

"You don't scare me...really." I smiled, blushing from his compliments. This version of Sasuke was shocking. There wouldn't be much reason for him to lie.

"I'm talking way too much. I'll kick my ass in the morning for all this."

We neared my house and looking back on the path we've walked I realized that maybe it was more dangerous for him to walk alone than it was for me. He seemed to be at the point where he'd barely be able to defend himself if he indeed had some enemies of the village. At the patio of my sector of the estate, I offered him, "Do you want to stay in my guest room?" The guest room wasn't in the main branch quarters though. That'd mean I'd have to go through hallways and risk being caught.

"Your...guest...what? What are you trying to say exactly?" he asked me to clarify. His footing was lost and he bended over, barfing.

I opened the door as he let it all out on the ground. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to show him the guest room. If anyone else found out about him, they'd punish me and him. I sighed, not sure what to do.

He was apparently finished and wiped his mouth, "What's wrong?"

"I...I don't think you should go home. It's dangerous for you..."

"What do you mean? I'm a **fuckin** ' ninja." He got defensive about his masculinity and ranted for a long while about just how strong he was.

I backed off, "Oh...okay...but I was just thinking you're drunk and it'd be best."

"I'm sorry." He paused and thought for longer than a moment, staring straight into nowhere, "Okay, well I'm gettin sleepy so if I could sleep on your extra futon, that'd be great." He gave two thumbs up.

I nodded, and let him inside my room. It was weird, for a second, one might think I was the one who was a bit off, but maybe I was being too nice. He was, after all, a stranger to me. Regardless, we quietly laid out the extra futon and I locked my door. Finally, I could rest for the night. I made sure to keep the futons far enough apart just in case he tried anything. But more than likely, he was too drunk and tired to try anything.

When morning came, Sasuke was still here, sleeping. Surely such an aloof man would have left by the time I woke up. Maybe he was still sleeping off his alcohol. I guess it was still pretty early. Even my head was hurting, so I rested my eyes again. Some of my muscles were tense. I was stressed to suppress remnants of self-pity. However when I awoke, it was Sasuke I pitied the most. Neji had him pinned against the wall and the poor ex-shinobi looked lost yet passive. While he could've retaliated, he hung limp from the wall my cousin had him pressed up against.

"I didn't do anything to her." Sasuke said, nonchalantly, and then he stared over at me.

Neji was blind with rage, completely livid, "Bull!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His free hand was readying to use gentle fist. "I will crush you if you're lying, Uchiha."

Sasuke gestured towards me, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Hinata, are you okay?" he dropped Sasuke to the ground and ran over to my bedside, "I found that Uchiha bastard in your room. Did he do anything to you?"

"No...I..." I blushed, poking my fingers together, "he was drunk so I invited him to spend the night. I didn't want to cause a fuss, so I let him stay in my room."

"What were you thinking? You don't know how dangerous he is." he warned me, treating me like a child, "You can't just let any breathing thing in your room."

I knew he was only trying to protect me, but it was annoying, "He wouldn't hurt me," I stated despite not fully believing it. But sometimes Neji was over-bearing to the point that he showed breaches in his trust in my abilities. If anything, I was rational and prudent and could make my own decisions. Even if that meant letting a ex-rogue ninja sleep in my room while under the influence of a mind-altering drug.

Neji scoffed, "You don't know what he's capable of, Hinata. People like him can't control themselves. I thought Kiba and Shino were with you! I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." He was shaking. Maybe he didn't trust my strength as much as I thought he did.

My temple throbbed. I was irritable and couldn't control the tears welling up in my eyes. He didn't trust me. "I'm 17 now, I'm a freaking ninja, Neji," I cried, "Please stop treating me like a kid! I can take care of myself. Please, let me take care of my guest." I surprised myself at how assertive I was being. My cousin backed off finally, nodding without words, and exiting although I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it.

Sasuke was dazed and tired. His hooded, blank gaze scanned me for information. "How did I get here?" he yawned without covering his mouth. With a snort, he cracked his neck. But his eyes never left me, he trusted me to tell him the detailed truth.

I looked up, "You were too drunk to walk alone."

He blushed slightly, pulling on one of his bangs. So that was a trait of sober Sasuke as well. "We didn't...um...you know do whatever-..." he stammered, staring into my eyes. His brow was furrowed. He really didn't remember anything. Why did he answer Neji with such certainty then? What was he trying to protect?

"No!" I said a bit louder than I'd intended, "You were the only one drunk!"

"Oh. Sorry. Well my pants were off so I just thought..."

"Your pants?" I shrieked and covered my face with the blankets of my futon. "Put some on, please." How could I not have noticed. And why were his pants off? What was he doing in my room with his pants off? I wanted to call Neji back in, but I could barely get out a sylable at that point. Sasuke was probably getting closer to me. He was probably getting excited. The room was humid with my cold sweat. There was a long silence. There was a zip - probably from his pants.

Wait, that meant he was zipping his pants up, not down. I smiled and took the sheets from over my head.

I stared at him as he began to put away the futon he slept on. His face was impossible to read. For whatever reason, he had decided to be obedient. From one stance, he was actually being polite. "What?" he snapped. His eyes shot to me. "I put the pants on like you said. Quit staring at me."

I blushed, realizing I'd been staring at him for too long, "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." He was completely different from how he was last night. However, now when I looked at him, I wasn't intimidated in the least bit. I smiled to myself. Maybe because I saw him act so silly. Last night, he managed to console me in a quirky way that actually worked. He swore a lot and he was tripping over himself, but the curious night really drew my mind away from Sakura's confession. Having Sasuke around in all his angst and danger, somehow managed to brighten my spirits.

"What're you smiling about?" his voice rose with a bit of concern about what had occurred the previous night.

"You just helped me cope with Sakura's confession to Naruto. That's all." I fiddled my thumbs.

He grunted, "So I acted like a dumb ass in front of you, huh?" His arms were crossed, and he looked away from me. Sasuke was interesting to say the least. The way he guided the conversations with questions, made it easier to converse. While other guys would make assumptions and say what's on their mind, Sasuke's persistent interrogations gave the feeling of mutual interest. If that's what girls saw in him, then maybe they weren't so shallow after all. Or perhaps, by his looks alone, he was one of those tall, dark and handsome men that all girls reluctantly fell for. No matter what. I shook my head. That wouldn't happen to me.

"You're staring at me again," he gloated, teasingly. I'm not sure if he was willing me to be attracted to him with those daring eyes, or just making fun of the fact that most girls found him attractive.

He wasn't that damn good-looking. At least not to me. There was nothing particularly handsome about it. Mostly, by what I could tell, it was just the darkness that drew my gaze to him the most. The danger that radiated from ever part of his body. "N-No…" I protested. Again, I could feel myself getting lost in a trance, in the enigma that was Sasuke. I mentally slapped myself. And he was bantering me. Playfully. We were playing.

He stretched his arms out to the side then rolled his neck, "There must've been something else I said…" He sat on the tatami mat next to his folded up futon. "Something that's making you think about me. Right? I said something. I usually say _something_ when I get like that. " Drunk, he meant.

My neck and face were on fire. Beautiful. He called me beautiful several times, drilling it into my head until I almost felt beautiful for that night at least. There came to be an invisible sort of wall between us that I turned away from. "Well…"

"Eh?" he His smirk grew, taunting me to spill out whatever he said, "Out with it, already."

I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to myself, "You told me I was beautiful…" I buried my face into the pillow.

His face turned red as well, "Oh…um…did I?" He cleared his throat and stared at the ground, "Well, shit."

"You probably didn't mean it though. You didn't know what you were saying."

"Yeah?" he said as he studied my reaction.

But really, I was just studying his expression. It's hard to read someone's mind when they're hellbent on reading your own mind. So there was silence again. I was holding on tightly to one of my pillows then pushed my face into it. I wish I had been deaf to everything he said last night. Yet all night, his words rang in my mind and my dreams. I had to know then if he meant it because last night, I tried not to take anything he said seriously. Just in case, intoxication meant delusion. "Y-You also said Sakura told you that you were falling for me," I stuttered.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Mm."

"Did I scare you?" he asked, leaning forward and lowering his head to follow my eyes to the floor.

The question itself startled me. If he forgot everything from last night, then he must have already known that I averted him as much as possible. He must have known that I've always feared him. Or maybe he just assumed I did since most feared him now. I shook my head, slowly.

"Then what? What were you thinking?" he said out loud, sternly, and it did make me jump.

Neither of us truly understood the concept of attraction. For a subject such as this, we were as adept as young academy students and yet had the magnitude of any other adult. Oppostie Sasuke had realized when he wanted to read a girl's mind, he couldn't; I'd realized how fast I could trust a stranger and how words affected me so much.

I shrugged and shook my head, "I didn't think. I-I didn't think you were serious, but it was nice of you."

"Why wouldn't you think I was serious?" he said this almost clinically with a faint infliction of surprise.

"You were drunk. You couldn't have been serious. I'm not beautiful…" Tears streamed down my face and I breathed in heavily, "Please, don't call me that."

His eyebrows slightly furrowed and he let out a sigh, "Well then…" he hunched his shoulders and rotated his neck to stretch. "I'm sure I'm not the first person to call you beautiful. If I said it, I probably meant it. "

Did he know what he was saying?

"God, just stop crying, already and tell me!" he snapped, giving a new face of his disposition. He was desperate and frustrated. Maybe he thought I trusted him and so when I didn't, he didn't understand. "How can I prove to you that I meant every word I said?"

"I don't know how you can." I decided not to protest anymore. My face was still red and I avoided eye contact with everything in the room.

He stood up. "Well, whatever, baka. I'm going. Expect me back."

Baka? Was that playful or degrading? I narrowed my eyes.

He gave me a sly smile like he could finally tell what I was thinking. "You hold my interest if anything," he informed me.

* * *

Days passed. I made some money on a few missions, trying to distance myself from emotions. Missions really helped with detachment because once I left the gates of Konoha, my mind was only on my job. I even worked on my birthday. The more intense, the better, and I wasn't prepared to lay my village's pride on the line for my fragile heart. This was theraputic.

On the day I finally returned, I entered the gates of Konoha and felt all that I'd be suppressing wash over me. I probably could've taken one more mission but I was physically worn out. By the time I got what must have been a day's worth of sleep, I found myself to be curious of Sasuke's whereabouts. He hadn't come back since that day. Perhaps I had scared him away or he completely sobered up and realized I wasn't worth his time. I thought about where he was and what he was doing a lot - almost as much as I thought about Naruto. Part of me preferred thinking about Sasuke because thinking about Naruto would only lead to me getting hurt. The Uchiha was laying the part of a placebo to me. He was a side quest. And it pleased me whenever he shared what he truly thought about me.

Walking down the streets of Konoha, I noticed Sakura and Naruto sitting on a bench near his house.

"Oi, Hinata!" Naruto waved, hysterically and called me over, "Guess what?" Of course he'd call me out with his sunshine smile. Some things might actually stay the same between us.

I walked over, grabbing my elbow behind my back, "Hello, how are you?" I addressed him formally. Gradually my chest loosened up although I didn't realize it was tight in the first place.

Sakura went quiet once I started approaching. She busied herself with adjusting the length of her dress so it was even at the bottom. "Hi. We're fine," she said, flashing a quick smile.

Naruto grinned, "Sakura and I decided to get married in the spring!" He hugged Sakura close to him and grinned. Her eyes wouldn't make contact with mine. This time she only flashed a half-smile. She was guilty by what I could tell.

For some reason, it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I was doing great. I didn't want to get in the way of anyone's happiness, however before I could congratulate them a hand patted my back, "Yay," he snarked, "Are you two _happy_ now?" he asked in a condescending tone. That was Sasuke's voice in its low, somewhat condescending tone as if he saw this coming from a mile away.

My hair stood up on the back of my neck and I quickly ducked down for a bow, "Yes! Congratulations. I'm happy for you." When I came back up, Sasuke was still fairly close to me. I felt him scoff near my neck. Why was he scoffing? He was mocking me. He doubted me. He knew me.

Sakura seemed to drop her guard, "Yeah, yeah, Sasuke. I know I'm thrilled! Thank you both," she smirked a bit, "You two seem closer."

I tried to protest, but Naruto interjected, "Yeah!" He narrowed his eyes, "There's something between you guys?"

"Shut up, Naruto, you can't see anything!" Sakura playfully pushed Naruto and giggled. Sakura added quiet enough for us to hear, "See? Hinata's face is red and Sasuke's turned away with his teeth clenched. Now he's blushing and she's covering her face. Oh my gosh!" She pointed everything out, excitedly. As my friend, she must have been happy that I was able to 'move on'.

"N-No, I just don't get what you guys are talking about…" I bit my lip and stood up straight. My eyes wandered to Sasuke who stared at me from the corner of his eye. This couldn't really be called moving on. This was more like just trying to move and he kept getting in the way. Moving on would mean that I was trying to get closer to Sasuke in order to stay with him or something. At that point, I wasn't really sure what Sakura was smiling about. She was the one that accused Sasuke of falling for me, however, so I was completely in the dark.

Sasuke's only reaction was a snort. A loud obnoxious snort that made him seem very unattractive. "Hey, Hyuuga," he said in a low voice, inches from my ear.

I turned to him sharply, my eyes opened wide. "Y-Yes?" I answered. For some reason, I wanted to hide our conversation from Sakura and Naruto.

His face was turned enough so I could just see his smirk, "Follow me, okay?" I'm pretty sure the two 'love birds' couldn't hear him whisper. They didn't even look up, so I decided to follow after him to escape the situation at least. As we neared the remote corner of the village, I was finally coming to my senses. What the hell was I doing? This wasn't a good idea. The scene was straight from a horror movie. He literally had me cornered in some dark, alleyway that evening. He jumped to a rooftop and then to a higher one and a higher one.

We faced the setting sun. And went to the edge to look down at the city beneath us. Did he consider jumping? Was he bringing me to witness his suicide? I reached out to him until he plopped down to sit in an Indian position.

I was confused. Did he suddenly forget I was following him? I neared him and the edge then fell back when he suddenly turned to look at me. "Wah," I screamed. He didn't react and went back to facing the sun. Staying put, my mind wandered. Two people, alone, on a rooftop, watching the sunset. What if this was a date for him? What if 'follow me' meant 'go on a date with me'? While I didn't want to lead him on, I felt inclined to stay with him, if only to see what he'd do next.

Sunsets happen every day, but some are more noticeable than others. Some are so powerful that they cause the entire sky to play a part in the sun's temporary departure. And then night comes and it's over. Three are nights that feel eternal. There are moments that feel eternal. My heart dropped as I remembered hearing the words "married". The delayed response to Naruto being with Sakura sank in deep. Hopelessness ensued and I felt selfish for feeling sad.

"Tch. I was wondering why you haven't cried yet."

"Eh? I touched my cheek, feeling hot tears stream to the grass floor far below me. I sobbed, bending forward and clutched my chest. "I'm so selfish… I really want to be happy for them."

Naruto didn't notice how sad I was, did he? Or else, he would've been more considerate when he indirectly rejected me. It's much better to face those kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. Sakura, for a moment, I knew was skeptical of my reaction, but even she believed me in the end. I, too, believed that I was truly happy about their plan to get married and yet here I was crying. The only person that knew my true feelings was a mere acquaintance whom I thought _had_ no feelings…and he sensed them early on.

He sighed with a slight smirk, "Why? And why did you congratulate them if you didn't mean it?"

"They're happy. I need to get over him." I sobbed and wept and ignored the fact that I was completely vulnerable. Even with-…especially with my close friends and family, I'd never been able to cry in front of them. Something about crying in front of a stranger retained the sense of privacy I had when crying alone. Or maybe crying in front of this certain stranger simply felt right.

"No, why aren't you happy?"

"I can never make Naruto happy."

"What if someone else wanted to make you happy? You wanting that baka happy would be getting in the way. It's just a long, stupid train of people truly just wanting to make themselves happy by having the person they care about the most love them the most. It's all a load of bullshit and once you get rid of the pretentious stuff you forced yourself to believe so you can call yourself 'good', you'll realize that your life can be more than just chasing after someone's attention. That is unless…" he paused his speech and stood up "you're me."


	4. Hazy

What if I fall and hurt myself?  
Would you know how to fix me  
What if I went and lost myself?  
Would you know where to find me  
If I forgot who I am,  
Would you please remind me?  
Cause without you things go hazy

Present Time

I abruptly woke up in the future again. My eyes slowly crept open, the weight of the new world was resting on my forehead, and a cold thermometer was penetrating my lips, "She does have a fever." Tsunade-sama? No, those were Sakura's words – only more clinical than I remembered it Her eyes had turned into a deeper green, and her pink hair had turned into a lighter pink. Beneath her white coat, I saw long, slender legs that any woman would envy. She plucked the thermometer from my mouth. Behind her, I saw a blurry blend of yellow and orange. I assumed that was Naruto. I couldn't verify as it hurt to attempt to focus my eyes even more.

"I know that!" Sasuke boomed sharply from the opposite direction and I jumped. "Tell me what's wrong with her. Why is she forgetting – oh…she's up." There was so much despair in his voice. Concern had erupted in his face but was cut short by the slightest notion of his excitement. Rushing to my side, he dropped his knees at my bedside. "Hina, are you okay?" he whispered, "You were asleep for a while." Like a guardian, he stroked my hair carefully as if to study each strand of hair.

My eager ears lowered and listened to his word that inquired my state in the most monotone voice of worry I'd ever felt. There was something in his voice and expression gave him the professional aura of the doctor that began to have an effect on my conscience.

"I was?" my voice squeaked out after I sifted through his words. So everything I just remembered was a dream at least to them. Even if I told them, exactly as I remembered, they'd assume it was a dream. Or worse they'd think I was crazy.

Maybe I was going crazy.

If this was a dream - I prayed this was just a dream then once I woke up, I was sure, I'd be back to a world without Sasuke as my husband and with the ability to choose my future. But for that moment, I was trapped against my will to no avail of willing otherwise.

"Hey, Hinata!" shouted Naruto excitedly, snapping through my somnolence. Although Sasuke was calmer, Naruto's enthusiasm had a similar effect on me. While most would've been bothered, I enjoyed his outburst. Even he was older now. His hair had grown longer and covered the sides of his face, yet still retained spikes on top of his head - just like his father. Up close, I could see he wore plain, Jounin clothes with a sort of formal cape to denote his true status as Hokage. Sakura hit him in the stomach, stifling his excitement. "OW! Sorry, honey. I'll be quiet." Two loud and merry people. Were they married? He did after all, call Sakura "honey" – term usually reserved for married couples.

Of course they were married if they were engaged when we were 17. Even though I was technically a married woman as well, something about that revelation darkened the world around me.

Sasuke was shaking as he stared at me like we were the only two people in the world. After a second, he rubbed his forehead and forced a small smile. "Damn it, can you two just get out of here and let me alone to be with my wife?" he commanded, in his light, condescending voice that was reserved for his teammates. One of his hands rested on his hips as he gesticulated for them to get out in a hurry.

They both apologized and left with much less effort than it would've taken years ago. I turned to awkwardly get in a position to face him. My body kept still and felt too heavy to get up. There was a bowl of food next to a cup of tea that had apparently gone cold next to a bedside lamp. It smelled a bit overcooked and had some weird seasonings in it, but it was edible. The overhead light was turned off, allowing the darkness to take over the room. The light that hit Sasuke's face came mostly from the moonlight through the window.

There was a unique sort of warmth that came from Sasuke. While there may have not been the boom of his voice, there was a constant feed of passion that flowed into my chest, taking a hold of me. Since I hadn't been used to the idea of ever marrying Sasuke, I was still unreceptive and so entire body was tight around him. But with each increment that I relaxed, I could feel a sliver of euphoria.

In that short, moment, however, when I thought of Naruto and Sakura and Naruto with Sakura, my heart hurt.

Not all those heartaches were wasted if this is how we ended up. Sakura liked Sasuke - her world was Sasuke like all the other fangirls, but she ended up falling for Naruto. And staying with Naruto who had always liked her. Then Sasuke fell for me and he got me. But at that age, how were we really supposed to know who we'd end up with? Why was Sasuke's heart more reliable than my own when what I felt for Naruto was so powerful. Although, I thought, Sasuke wouldn't be so bad if he always acted like this. I sat up and faced him, my knees below me. Poking my fingers together, my face started heating up again, but I had to get this question out:

"How...how did we fall in love?" I asked, quietly. But he never failed to hear me.

For a second he stared at me with an illegible facial expression then suddenly laughed like I was joking. "How did we fall in love?" he chuckled through his nose - that was until he acknowledged my grave disposition. And gradually enough, he stopped laughing. "Ohh... you don't remember?" His words dropped off. Without looking at him, I felt the disappointment in his words.

With my first love, Naruto commented on how cute my eyes were and since then, I watched how hard he worked to be liked and how powerful he got to the point that his strength was undeniable. I liked him for him. And so, as his only admirer for years, it only made sense for me to want to be with him. I wasn't being vane as Sasuke suggested I was.

"Was it at my party … when you were drunk?" I suggested as a way to ease Sasuke's sadness. He was practically sulking.

His face lit up. "I didn't know you fell for me that early," he teased with a smirk.

I raised my hands up in defense, "No, no, I don't think I did. Definitely."

"Oh, ok-..." he mumbled. Most likely, he was confused that I even brought it up.

"But that really happened?" I asked, smiling sheepishly at him.

Just as easily as I caused him worry and pain, I was restoring something inside him. To see his mood fluctuate based on my words, was interesting. One thing was established, this Sasuke was interested in whatever I was feeling while the other Sasuke was interested in playing with my feelings.

"What do you mean? Of course it did." He didn't seem to get the 'game' I was playing. But he slowly recalled it all, "I was drunk and you let me sleep in your room then -…" His laugh and smile were both half-hearted with a hint of anxiety.

"Neji harassed you!" I said with enthusiasm, connecting everything together like a puzzle. Thank God, at least some facts were consistent. The dream was at least the past of the current reality. I'd soon enough get to learn how my life unfolded. But I had to learn more!

"Yeah, exactly…why are you acting like all of this is new?" he was sincerely confused and furrowed his eyebrows while combing my bangs back with his fingers nervously as if to identify the woman he was talking to.

"I just dreamed it," I touched my temple, excitedly, "And then we found out that Naruto and Sakura at the bench by the academy and they were getting announcing their engagement and then…you took me to a rooftop!" I didn't realize how childish I must've seemed. Given the benefit of the doubt, I was acting on the mind of a 16-year-old girl – not an adult woman with a husband and children.

"Right, heh, you're remembering more than I do." He caressed my face, and came closer , "Remember what happened after that?" he hinted in a low, seductive manner that beguiled me for the moment.

I shook my head. Somehow, I was ignorant of the innuendos he displayed through his tone. "What happened?"

The door flew open with a bang, "Sasuke," Jin entered by kicking the door and was carrying a small toddler, "Isamu won't stop crying." She referred to him as if it was a dog that wouldn't stop begging for food.

"Mommy!" The young toddler cried. Another child? It was almost sort of humorous how many children we produced over such a short amount of time. This one was so cute. His short, buzzed hair made his round face look like a pale peach. The pale skin sharply contrasted his round black eyes just as it had Jin's. He reached for me and sniffed up his tears, "Mommy's up." I wanted to hold him and was tempted to reach for him as well.

Sasuke stood up and took Isamu from Jin. "Firstly, please don't call me Sasuke, Jin-hime, don't you respect me at all?" he pleaded in a reluctant way. She scoffed. Sasuke sighed. "Secondly, your mother's not feeling well, so at least respect her...please." He paused to restrain Isamu from fidgeting to get to me, "Thirdly, she has a fever, therefore Isamu shouldn't even be in here."

How large did Sasuke want his clan to be? Not that I resented Isamu's existence, but we must have only been in our late 20s, early 30s and already we had six children. Granted, at least two were twins of each other. Still, Sasuke gazed at me like we were childrenless and raging with hormones. At the same time, his passion seemed aged and matured by the way his eyes held me and his soft voice caressed my ears.

"Mommy still sick?" Isamu whimpered, his eyes welling up with tears again.

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it? He's the one freaking out because the twins told him Mom was sick," Jin protested as she brushed her hair off her shoulder along with any guilt. If one had ever envisioned a profile of Sasuke as a young girl, she would be it. Her beauty outmatched mine by any standpoint. I almost felt envious. Although she only looked to be a preteen, her voice gave made her seem like a teenager.

Sasuke sighed again, "Damn it… those boys..." He smiled awkwardly at Isamu. "Isamu-chan, your mother will be fine," he gulped. His voice cracked since obviously, he didn't take on the tone too often. "She's just sleepy and needs to rest. Now, can you go play with your big sister?"

Isamu shook his head, "Nooo!" Tears began to fall from his eyes. Sasuke didn't even need to look at me for me to know that it was my turn to say something – anything that would keep our son from crying.

This child was my son and no one else's. Even if that was biologically impossible, I knew that I was the only one to heal his temporary pain. "I-Isamu-chan?" I called out to my son. His face immediately lighted up. "Um, I'll play with you when I wake up. I promise…" I felt so weak and was already starting to feel sleepy again. Maybe that would help him feel better.

My son nodded, "Okay, Mommy!" He smiled brightly, "Mommy will be okay!" he bragged to Sasuke and Jin. "Mommy's gonna play with me."

To fill his void, even if every child felt that way at some point, made me feel important. My chest felt warm as I saw him get on his feet and walk out with Jin.

Sasuke got back to his knees, "He only smiles like that for you, you know?" a hint of jealousy was in his voice. "Otherwise, he's the most melancholic child we've ever had. And Jin," he rolled his eyes just as she had earlier, "is it just me or does she hate me?" Sasuke was irrationally serious about his children's lack of affection towards him, but he did seem to envy me.

"She doesn't hate you, I'm sure. She acts a lot like how you used to." I heard my voice quiet down as I spoke. Why was I so sleepy?

"Damn, I was a rude kid then," he laughed and then brought his face closer to mine, "But she has your beauty, you know…" My beauty? I had no beauty and it was almost an insult to Jin to compare me to her. "Say, Hinata," he began to suggest, "when are we going to play?"

The room faded to black before I could understand what he said. Played? As in what? He couldn't have meant what I think he meant. Although, that is what married couples do. My eyes closed as I fainted into a slumber, taking on the body of my 16-year-old self once again.


	5. Hazy Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's dreams bring her to the past. She finds out that Sasuke dropped her off at her home. Everyone has questions about their budding friendship.

_13 years ago_

Outside, it was dark. I still sat on the rooftop, feeling the coldness of the early winter breeze hit my skin. Fire flamed from an abstract sore, tickling my heart. A usually calm setting was tainted by something. Uchiha Sasuke's face was centimeters from mine. Feelings of thoughts and thoughts of feelings ran through my mind, and yet I acted on my first instinctual reaction. There were mere seconds between us, giving me reason to believe that he was attempting to crush me with a kiss.

I uppercut him almost instantly, up and away from me. Making the hand signs for 8 Trigrams Palm Rotation, I didn't even look up at his expression. Already, in a blur, I could see the stairs to heaven being paved. My innocence was everything to me. Once I finished, I wasn't surprised to see him still standing - still staring at me. While his clothes were torn at the sleeves and cuffs, nothing else reflected what he might have been feeling. Like before, he was too busy searching my eyes to allow his own to be open.

Gradually, he tensed up. His brow tightened. His fist gripped the air. His teeth grinned into a deep scowl. His face grew red - but with what? Anger? Arousal? I had to have angered him. I hit him! I hit the guy who almost killed Naruto. "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Please forgive me!" I pleaded. I couldn't apologize enough to save my hide.

Death. My knees hit the ground pavement of the roof. Either I'd be killed or worse. There was something worse he was capable of that my mind wouldn't even let me ponder. With my legs sprawled out, I collapsed into a frozen, shivering mess. The Uchiha reacted in increments as he got up and wiped his mouth and lowered his head and hid his eyes. And he reproached me, nearing my face from his standing position. On one knee, he leaned forward to my ear this time. If I could, I would've closed my ears, but I could only hide them with my hands. He fissured the concrete with his fist, causing a small tremor in the vacant building. Although I was seconds away from fainting, I heard him say, "I don't know why-...you wouldn't stop looking like-...I don't think you fully understand!" It wasn't threatening. It wasn't controlling. In fact, he seemed just as confused as I was, making the situation itself all the more puzzling.

With my consciousness fading, I could only hear two voices over me.

"What were you doing?" asked a cool, familiar voice.

"Tch, stop following me!" answered Sasuke's voice.

"Well, it was a tad bit suspicious for you to lead Hinata to a remote location."

"That's none of your business!"

"And then for you to try to kiss her. Poor girl. I know you like her, but this really isn't the way to go about it," teased the teacher.

"Shut up, Kakashi-baka!" Two strong arms held me to an even stronger body. The person's heart was beating rapidly. And although the arms were strong, they trembled.

"And where do you think you're taking her now?" Kakashi questioned calmly.

"To her house," hissed Sasuke.

"Maybe I should," suggested the copy ninja.

"No, this is my fault..." The wind blew my hair back. "So back off."

I fainted again...this was getting annoying. Usually only Naruto made me faint, but lately I'd been getting into situations that virtually kept me unconscious. My anxiety was getting out a control thanks to a certain ex-missing ninja.

* * *

This time, when I woke up, I was actually in my 'real' room. "Nee-chan, Nee-chan," Hanabi's voice greeted me upon my recovery in my room, " here, drink some tea!" She grinned and placed a cup of green tea into my hands, "Sooo…what'd you do today?"

Hanabi and my conversation's were mostly just her trying to hear what she wanted from me.

I squinted my eyes and sat up in my bed. It took me a second to remember what my day had been like. When I looked to the window, the morning had already arrived. Wait – fainted? That must've meant I was My body seemed to remember before I did as I felt my cheeks flush with red, and I stammered, "Um..."although it could've been due to the fact that my sister's excitement indicated something big happened.

Hanabi was about eleven now. Already she had graduated from the academy a few months ago and was progressing steadily as a Genin.

"That mysterious Uchiha guy dropped you off!" she shouted, louder than she should've.

"Ha...ha," I laughed nervously and began to remember the event that preceded, "My day was fine…." I bit my lower lip and could somewhat replay the sensation he placed against them.

Hanabi scoffed, "Yeah, right. Tell me everything." She pushed me back and forth, "Come onnn!"

I really couldn't lie to her, but I knew Hanabi wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut. She wouldn't say anything to my father, but word would get out some way. "Uchiha-san brought me into the woods-…"

"And beat you up?" she said semi-enthusiastically, expecting me to defend him.

"No," I said calmly, and took another sip of tea, "so I didn't have to cry in front of Naruto and Sakura."

She rose an eyebrow, "Okay?" then gave a half-hearted laugh, "Why would you be crying?" Her concern was the maximum that she could give – not sympathetic, more intrigued.

I didn't want to talk about it anymore. My crying episode was overshadowed greatly by the kiss. As startling as it was, I could only remember the euphoria of it all. I sat the cup down and pulled the covers over my head and groaned, "Hanabiii…not right now."

"What? What'd he say when you started crying?" she pulled on the covers and I tugged back. My face was heating up just when she overpowered and uncovered me, "Hah! You're blushing! So…"

"He tried to kiss me. N-Now, can we just forget I even said anything, please?" I sighed. I was so easy and weak-willed.

Hanabi covered her grin with her hands, "But you didn't let him? What's wrong with you? You don't like him?"

"No." I answered faster than I could think, without questioning it. Because if I did, I'd remember something about him that I maybe could've grown to like.

"Aw, why not? He's really, really attractive and cool and strong," she reminded me. Hanabi wanted me to get married off just as badly as my father did. Whenever we were out, she'd point out guys that she think suited me. Sasuke was no exception. Although, she did seem to have a predilection towards strong guys. Sasuke might have been more her type than mine.

"And he's a bad guy," I reminded her.

"You don't know that!" she shouted back, trying to defend my chance for romance. She was right – I didn't know that – I knew little to nothing about the Uchiha. The baseless excuses I made for not wanting to be involved with him. For someone who followed our family's every command, she seemed to have her own opinion on him.

Perhaps what he said to me last was true. I didn't understand him.

I nodded, "You're right." Getting to my feet, I stretched my arms backwards. Mid-stretch, I halted, "Where's Neji-nii?"

"He's still on a mission, remember? I think he should be getting back tonight," she said, nodding as she recalled the details. That's right, he left the day after he found Sasuke in my room. Hanabi got up and walked to the doorway. "You're lucky he wasn't here when Uchiha-guy brought you home. Although, it would've been exciting..." she sighed. She winked at me and shut the door behind her.

I wondered what my cousin would've thought of Sasuke bringing me home like he did. Even my teammates, Shino and Kiba. They'd surely have something to say as well. Then a shiver came over me. Why did I care? Perhaps it was the scandalous feeling this all evoked that drew me in. The mystery of a former rogue finding interest in me was entertaining to say the least, and kind of romantic if I were to exaggerate it. Romantic if it were anyone but Sasuke.

His feelings were enigmatic and held whatever limit he put on them. Whether they be hate or passion, no one else would be able to control his emotions but him...or Naruto. After all, it was Naruto that brought him back to the village.

How would he accept this challenge? Sasuke had finally found a girl who had not had any romantic interest in him, and it just so happened this girl interested him the most. I could expect him to come back, I knew. In that respect, he would probably mimic Naruto's persistence with Sakura...

The window was cold, the sky was dark, and the moon was round. Naruto and Sakura were getting married and I felt happy for them. They were feeling something I could finally see and wish for. Wishing for a feeling rather than a person might bring me more happiness in the end. I giggled, "I wish someone could love me and I'd feel love for that person." What a silly wish. It was so vague and trite. Love couldn't possibly be that simple.

* * *

Sakura showed up the next morning. She was glowing, her grin must've been plastered across her face for the past few days. Love made her prettier and more mature, "Do you want to come shopping? Well, I guess it's not a question," she took my hand, "We're going shopping now." I had no choice.

I smiled and followed without saying much, "What're we going to buy?"

"Oh, I don't know. Wedding stuff? You're more feminine than I am, so I figured you'd be able to help me." She touched her cheek and blushed. Years ago, she would only blush like that for Sasuke. "I can't believe that idiot Naruto is making me this happy. It's almost kind of sad." She giggled.

I shook my head and smiled, "No, you two are really inspirational. You deserve to be with each other." This time, I swear, I really meant it.

Sakura winked at me just like my sister had last night, "So…"

I knew it'd be something about Sasuke, so I changed the subject, "Let's go to the flower shop and see what Ino recommends!" I pulled her into the shop nearby and we looked around for a while since Ino wasn't at the front desk at that moment. There were pretty roses, daffodils and lilies, but my favorites were the jasmines. They were plain and simple looking, yet their scent was the most beautiful scent on earth to me. I pulled a flower up to my nose and inhaled.

When I looked up, Ino and Sakura were giggling behind my back. I tried to turn back around and pretend I didn't notice, but then Ino called me over, "Hey, Hinata-chan!" She always called me "-chan", often commenting on how cute I was. I reluctantly walked over, "We were just talking about how Sasuke apparently swept you away? So..."

I pulled my hair from my face, "…he just wanted to ask me if Neji was willing to spar with him." The hair strand I pulled back stayed in my hand and I nervously twirled it, looking to the ground.

"Get out! You're so lying," Ino declared playfully, "Isn't she lying, Sakura?"

"They're both hiding something! Naruto said Sasuke came home drunk last night, but can you believe even Naruto wouldn't tell me what happened?" said Sakura.

They were both acting like teenage girls – which we were, I guess, but it was weird talking about Sasuke of all people. However, I thought about it, talking to my friends would be more helpful than talking to my younger sister. As playful as they were, perhaps they'd be able to understand my situation better. I cleared my throat, "Well, I think Sasuke might like me."

Sakura stuck her tongue out, "I could've told you that, Hinata. He came to me like he had some sort of disease going on and was like 'Hinata is very interesting….'Then we got to talking more, and he said how you seem to bring him some sort of peace or something. By just looking at you, he feels like you could bring him happiness. I don't know. He was really rambling, but I just told him, 'You're in love with her.' It was that obvious," she explained with her impersonations of Sasuke.

I couldn't tell if she and Ino were sincerely concerned about my love life or if they were just looking for something to talk about. Would it be wrong to say they almost bugged me with their curiosity that may just alter things for the worst? Perhaps it was a mistake to ask them anything, but I suppose they meant well.

They both looked at me, waiting for my response, but I had none. My mind began to burn out and I slumped over on the counter, "I don't like him…I just feel so weird whenever I'm near him. When he tried to kiss me-…" the two girls screamed in excitement. My ears hurt.

"You kissed him. You kissed him? You kissed him!" Ino said, lifting her hands up.

"I can't believe you two are that close!" Sakura shrieked.

No one could hear that I didn't like him. Did my opinion not matter? With my anxiety, the situation wasn't nearly as romantic as they were probably picturing. "He tried to kiss me but I...um...pushed him away," I admitted, "I don't want to hurt his feelings..."

Sakura stopped her excitement for a moment, "Look, Hinata," she smiled, sympathetically, "you may want to resist love. You may want to run away and hide. You might talk yourself into hating the person or wanting to respect their feelings. But if it's true, none of that will work. No matter what you do, he'll end up coming into your life anyway. So the best thing to do is just love and let love. Trust me, there was no way I would've been into Naruto." That's definitely not what I wanted to hear, but it sounded like she meant it.

Ino sighed, "Yeah, Sakura's right…if only I'd found love by now. But we're all still young right?" She gave a thumbs up and winked.

"Right," Sakura and I nodded.

But I didn't find love. I just became the target of a persistent...suitor? Stalker? It was hard to label Sasuke. Sure, it'd be flattering if I were to daydream about it long enough, but I felt so overwhelmed by the entire situation of Team 7 that I really wished no one liked anyone.

"Don't sweat it, Sakura! She's just being Hina-chan," Ino teased, excused and continued to a new subject, "Shizune had Kakashi's kid already, right Sakura?"

I was so out of the loop. I didn't even realize she was pregnant, but I did notice there was some formation around Shizune's belly. Of course I didn't get worried and think it was a tumor or anything. But Kakashi-sensei with a kid would be really cute. He kind of did seem like the cool, calm and collected fatherly type. Shizune seemed pretty composed, too. Wouldn't it be ironic if their child was as outgoing as Naruto?

My random ideas and gushes went unnoticed within the conversation. Being a wallflower had no perks. I was letting the world revolve without me.

Sakura and Ino both could carry a conversation quite well, but I knew if I were to speak, I'd somehow trip over my words and break the flow of the conversation. Listening was nice, but it wasn't as gratifying as being listened to. It was my best social skill, however, and my only one. In my team, it was always Kiba who would carry a conversation by himself with no more than a nod from Shino and me. With my family, Hanabi and Neji would somehow get into heated discussions often and I'd be the spectator.

So I settled with the opinions of others, and sometimes, with time, they'd melt into my own opinions as well.

Sakura giggled, "Yeah, it was a boy named Obito after Kakashi's old teammate. He's got his silver hair and black eyes," she grinned. "Now everybody's pregnant. Anko with Gai's kid – she's about to pop, too, Iruka with the ramen chick's kid, -… "

"Don't you mean the ramen girl with Iruka's kid?"

"Whatever... Anyway, I think it's like a Baby Boom from the war. It's really nice…" she had a dazed smile for a moment and looked off to the side like she were pondering something pleasant.

"Does this mean you're planning on having a baby soon?" Ino folded her hands and leaned forward, "I can picture you two having a cute kid." By two, she meant Sakura and Naruto, I realized. That would be new.

Well, of course, it'd be new; all babies are new.

Sakura blushed, waving it off, "Yeah, yeah, Naruto and I haven't even talked about kids yet. We're not even living together. But once Sasuke moves out, I'm planning on moving in with him then. Then maybe we'll think about it."

We were just talking about being young and now everyone's thinking about having kids and getting married? I almost felt like I was falling behind. Now, I didn't even have a particular person to look forward to seeing every day. Unless I counted Sasuke… If one could call Sasuke a suitor.

After a few more minutes of chitchat, the flower shop suddenly got busier, and we had to leave Ino to her duties. So we moved to the streets to find another shop to browse and to find more people to talk to. There was no shortage in such an urban village. Neither people nor shops were scarce around Konoha, and almost everywhere we went, someone would recognize her.

Sai approached us from behind in front of a vacant lot. Only the heavens could know what he was doing there alone. Most likely he was gaining some kind of obscure inspiration for his artwork.

"Hello, Hinata," he approached me in particular. It was quite random for him to say my name – let alone seek me. His lips curved upwards into an uncanny smile. Sai never said more than greets to me, but he seemed different than he was before. He used to be silent and aloof, almost as unapproachable as Sasuke, but now he seemed more natural and human. Less trained and more progressive to what we were all like.

Sakura sharply turned around and glared at Sai, "I don't think you should talk to Hinata, Sai," she decided in a protective manor.

I didn't put up a protest, but Sai continued as if Sakura had stayed silent, "Sasuke's mentioned you once before, so I'm guessing that means he likes you." Were we still in the academy or something? I didn't understand how this one, trivial crush could somehow become the center of the village's attention. Even Sai - Sai, the silent fellow was confronting me about it. "Is this a subject you wish to discuss?"

I hope I wasn't too forward with my disgust of the topic. I covered up my face with my hands and sighed, "No, no, I'm fine," I regretted saying that the moment I said it.

Sakura jumped in, "Come onnn, Hinata," she groaned and restarted her enthusiasm of convincing me that this might be true love and what-not. "Maybe Sai actually has some juicy details for once."

"Do you like Sasuke as well? Although you both are introverted, Sasuke is crude while you are kind. Sasuke hates sweets while you are sweet. Sasuke's one of the strongest ninja of our generation while you're one of the weakest. You two would be very complementary to each other." He stared blankly at me. "There's more, and I'd go on, but you probably can already see the reasons clearly."

Sweat glided down my forehead as well as Sakura's. I didn't see how his points made us complementary. The way he put it, we seemed like opposites. We appeared to be the worst two in the world for each other. Sasuke would over shadow me and force me into things I didn't want to do and hurt my feelings with his rude mouth. And I wasn't one of the weakest!

If I looked into his eyes too long, I felt that he'd somehow be able to read right through me. He'd be able to read something I might not have been able to read myself. At least, that's what I felt he was trying to do as he slightly narrowed and widened his eyes with every syllable I uttered. "I…I don't think we would," I muttered.

"Do you like Sasuke as well?" he repeated.

"Um…no, just as a..."

"A friend? That's what most girls would say when they don't like someone," he noted, "Nice girls, anyway." We seemed to have arrived at some restaurant. Sakura and Sai took a seat on either side of me. I took a seat, too and expected them to order but for some reason Sakura idly watched our conversation, "I see. Well, more specifically, when Sasuke had mentioned you he said, 'You know that Hyuuga heiress? I don't trust you around her…so don't you fucking mess with her.'"

"Oh my gosh!" squealed Sakura, taking Sai's attention from me for only a second.

He looked back to me, waiting for my response.

"Does that change your mind to any degree?" he inquired. I could tell he was trying to help out a friend. Perhaps Sai was trying to be compassionate, or he was trying to instigate some sort of response from me that he could relay back to Sasuke. "Can we go on a date together?" he proposed without warning.

As a reflex, my face burned red. "Um," I stammered, "I...um..." I couldn't reject him even if I tried. Even though he probably had some trick up his sleeve, I could only say yes. By chance, if he did actually like me, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Sasuke was the only one I felt relatively comfortable rejecting.

I couldn't tell if he was serious. I had literally just talked to him and already he was asking me out on a date. My face was flushed with red and I could barely mutter out any words. Sakura began to swear at him, "I thought you were trying to be friends with Sasuke and now you're stealing his crush away? Do you know what friendship means, Sai?"

He continued over her, "So…" he got up, "tomorrow at around noon: I'll take you out to lunch and to the park….and…" he stopped and took a look at some book from his pocket, "give you several material tokens of affection."

"Sai, this is not how you do it!" Sakura warned. Her arms were nearly flailing.

He waved at us and walked away. A date? Maybe it was worth a chance. I didn't have chance to give him a proper response. Sai left, assuming I'd show up. This would be my first date - unless my meeting with Sasuke could be considered a date. No, that had to be replaced.

Although for the rest of Sakura and I's shopping spree, I could only think of Sasuke's reaction and wondered how much it'd hurt him if he were to find out. He did have feelings still, right? There was latent pain in his heart that he was restrained from releasing through anger and hatred. And somehow I felt responsible for relieving him. I didn't want to be responsible, but everyone was looking to me to be his knight in shining armor.

When he said I didn't understand him, I wondered what he meant. What else was there to get about him? I saw myself as an understanding person, but there was a huge barrier in front of his heart and mind and soul. There was no telling what he'd do next and even if I wanted to read him, I couldn't. I was starting to get the feeling that somehow had a secret identity that was completely hidden from the naked eye.

* * *

That night, upon getting home, Neji and Hanabi were talking in the foyer. Neji seemed quite irritated while Hanabi rambled with a impish grin across her face. She better not had said anything to him about Sasuke coming anywhere near this house. Although, knowing Hanabi, I just knew she did.

"Ni-san! You're back," I chirped with a smile. Maybe it was a bit strained, for I was more nervous than happy.

They turned towards me. Neji's grimace lightened a bit on his face, "Hello." A light blush formed across his cheeks. Now, what were they talking about that would make my cousin so flustered upon seeing me? I wondered for a second before hiding my face in my hands.

Hanabi grinned, "Hey, Nee-san! Nee-san!"

I frowned, still hiding. "What?"

"Can I tell her?" Hanabi asked eagerly to Neji. He nodded and nearly turned his back to me. I sighed in relief. "Well…"

Neji sharply turned back around, "Wait! I'll tell her in private, for there are other factors," he kept his head lowered. "If you will." I followed him back to his room and sat on the bed. He paced back and forth still nervous, "I'm sorry."

"For what, ni-san? What's wrong?" I began to get uneasy about his current eccentricity.

"Nothing's wrong. I'd just like to say I'm sorry for completely disregarding your independence. If you want that Uchiha in your room, then I'm not in any place to say he can't be there." He stopped and mentally palmed his face, "Wait, what am I saying? If that bastard comes around here again," he stopped in his tracks and waved a finger at me, "I'll kill him."

I didn't know Neji to be like this. His extreme protectiveness didn't faze me, but his lack of composure did. No matter what, he always seemed to keep his composure even when he was losing it on the inside. It was a quality that I lacked since childhood. To be able to stay calm to Neji's level instead of fainting like I often did was something I could only wish for. Over the past few years, when Father would get on my case about various errors I made, I'd cry on the spot, but Neji would always accept the criticism and carry on towards improvement.

"What's this all about, Neji?" I innocently asked. If Hanabi told him about the 'almost kiss,' he would've been ten times as livid about Sasuke.

"Oh…nothing…" he paused and took a deep breath, "Tenten accepted my feelings." He turned away from me again.

So that's why he was in a lighter mood. After months of waiting for a reply, she finally returned his feelings. And so that made him happier. It was simple, but I ran the formula through my head a few times before saying something. "Congratulations!" I commended him.

"Yeah…and I wasn't really sure where to go from there, so I just decided to…" he hesitated, "lie in bed with her."

My face grew pale, and I wondered if he was sharing too much information, "…um..."

"Sorry, sorry," he scratched the back of his head and looked guiltily to the side, "I shouldn't have shared all of that, but I really am happy. I didn't realize I loved her so intensely until then."

"You two would make a lovely couple."

"Really? Thank you," he bowed nervously, "I didn't realize how strong she had gotten by watching her grow the entire time…and she's very strong in personality as well." It was odd to see Neji almost gush like this. Usually if he'd gushed it'd be over some new fighting technique he learned or of his time spent with Lee, but he went on and on about a girl. Strangest sight of the night. Love must have that effect on everyone. "And I just want you to know that if you find someone who loves you, don't pass it up so quickly. That is unless it's that Uchiha. He has nothing but bad intentions, I'm sure." He patted me on the head which, awkward none-the-less, was his signature consoling gesture for me.

Did Sasuke gush about me? I excused the quick thought from my mind and shook my head.

I giggled but knew that despite the lighter atmosphere, I still decided not to tell him about my 'date' with Sai tomorrow. I wasn't prepared to anger my dear cousin tonight, "Don't worry, I won't have anything to do with him," I lied. My chastity towards Sasuke, however, was as sincere as it could be.

"What?" he was shocked in a 'thank God' sort of way but then cleared his throat, "Excuse me…"

"Uchiha-san is really a nice guy, but he's not someone I could end up liking…I realized," I pushed my two index fingers together and stared at the ground. Although, for some reason, it felt like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince Neji. I bit my lower lip and saw Neji smirking, haughtily like he did after winning spars with my father.

"As you say," he gave a small smile and turned away, but then turned back, "Goodnight." He exited.

As the years went by, Neji would always try to help me get stronger and happier. Father had begun to accept him as if he were his own son, and so calling him 'brother' felt more natural than ever. For Neji to find someone that would make him happy, was relieving. Tenten, however, was the oddest match I could think of. She was tactless, almost rude, and yet very ambitious for anything. I would've expected him to end up with someone similar to mother.

But those sorts of things were hard to predict - I knew.

I thought about mother. She died so unexpectedly after giving birth to Hanabi and until that day, I saw my father love my mother more than anyone. He's always said how much I remind him of her, but she was never a ninja and she was much better than me. Her condition made it impossible for her to fight and yet my father supported her until the very end. My cold, dark father was supportive of her. It must've been due to genuine love, for he never was truly supportive of me.

* * *

When I woke up, the door to my room was being opened. I shot up and searched for the face of my intruder. My palms grew wet, and I got to my knees on my futon to see pale black and white at the doorway. Everything was still blurry and I rubbed my eyes then widened them. It was Sai…smiling brightly. What time was it?

"Sexy." He grinned more then licked his lips, "Are all Hyuugas this hot?" He seemed really out of character at that point. However, I didn't know which was his true self.

My heart raced. What was I getting into? I didn't know Sai at all. I looked back and expected Neji to be there, or anyone, "No one knows about us except for Sakura." I warned so weakly that it was hard to tell that I was suddenly repulsed by going on a date with him.

"Oh," he smirked, "we're an 'us' now?" His hands inched under my knees and picked me up in a bridal fashion. Our faces were inches apart, "Come, now. Evidently you don't care what others think…" My face went red when I realized I was only in a gown. "Shall I allow you to change?" I nodded like a child who was just going with whatever the adult was saying. "If you'll excuse me, I'll step out for a moment." He laid me down on the futon below, and stepped out of my room.

I caught my breath and looked around for my clock. I clutched it. 10am. Didn't he say noon? It was completely uncalled for, and yet I didn't completely hate it. Maybe this was how dates played out. At that point, I wasn't even sure if it was a real date, and the entire idea seemed unappealing in genera

By that point, I definitely couldn't reject him. I should've had the guts to reject him much earlier.

My family was minutes from finding someone outside my bedroom door, and that would have caused a scene that I'd rather not see. I rushed to grab some pants, preferably nice, but by the time I put them on, I realized they were training sweat Capris with girlish, kitten prints none-the-less. However, with no time to waste, I took off my shirt and glanced out the window to see Sai staring me down with not a single emotion in his eyes. I caught myself from shrieking before I hastily closed the curtains. I felt sick. Why was he doing this to me?

I wanted to faint - just to get out of the situation.

"Please don't look at me," I requested. After putting on some clothes, I got ready to leave. Soon, we left the compound without being seen.

"Sorry, I was just enjoying the view," he smirked and pulled me close to him. "Now," he said, looking ever-so-cheerful, "change of plans, baby. We're going to my training fields to have a picnic. Just you and me." Who was this talking like this? My mind went numb and I followed him submissively.

This was a date. At that point I felt claustrophobic from being so close to a man and from being in such an intimate situation. What had I gotten myself into? There was a reason why girls didn't say yes to anyone, but it was hard for me to learn that lesson since no other guy had asked me out before.

We passed places and faces, and his arm was still tightly wrapped around my waist. I could feel the whispers on my back without even looking. I just hoped word didn't get back to my extremely secluded Hyuuga Estate.

"Your heart beats so much against my body, Hinata. Does this mean you're in love with me?" he smirked and his face lowered closer to mine. "I promise you we'll have some real fun later on."

I wanted to scream again. This date was a hellish nightmare. And Hell wouldn't be Hell without demons like Sai. Speaking of the devil, we got closer to the isolated training area of Naruto's team. Now was about the time Naruto and Sasuke trained. I turned to Sai, "Um…maybe this isn't a good idea. I mean, aren't dates supposed to be at places we can be alone?"

Sasuke's face flashed in various reactions. Ironic since I would have been more concerned with how Naruto would react, weeks prior, but I was more concerned about Sasuke hurting Sai than anything.

"Haha, I know you're really eager for the two of us to be alone together, but don't you think it's a bit early for that? Besides, I want to show everyone how I'm with a hot woman such as you." Sai pulled back some bushes that opened the way to the field where his team was. My eyes met with Sasuke's super intimidating red eyes that crippled my thoughts.

I could feel his pure jealousy. I could feel his pain as he saw me accept someone else into my heart so easily. But it wasn't true! This scene was fake. Why did I feel guilty?

Of course the first one to speak and the last one to notice anything was Naruto who stopped charging his Rasengan and wondered why Sasuke had stopped fighting. By looking in the direction he was staring into, he finally found why, "Hey, Sai! …why're you holding Hinata so close to you like that?" It took him a second or two to comprehend and thus he declared, "You two are on a date! Is this the girl Sakura was talking about? Hinata?"

Sasuke's eyes went black as he suddenly turned his head away from me, relinquishing to his typical stoicism. "Never mind them," his eyes glared at Sai and his face spiked into a scowl.

Sai smirked back at him, "You could call it a date, but I'm sure this date will become something more later on." He kept mentioning 'later on' but I had no idea what he meant. What sort of surprise did he have in store?

"Let's just get back to training or whatever." Sasuke said, switching his Sharingan on again. He got into his fighting stance, somewhat weaker than it seemed before. One of Naruto's clones pushed him over with ease.

"Gotcha!" Naruto answered. This agreement sparked an intense spar.

Why hadn't Sasuke said anything more about Sai and me? He just blew the two of us being together off. Maybe I was reading too far into his facial expression.

I smiled bittersweetly.

Why was I yearning for Sasuke's attention?

Perhaps Sasuke didn't have feelings for me after all, and as I considered that to be a possibility, I felt a tinge of anxiety surface. I wanted to attribute the emotion to the fact that neither him nor Naruto would save me from the repulsive antics of Sai, but I also felt the shameful desire to test Sasuke's devotion. For commitment to another person meant some sort of humanity, right? And that was all I wanted to prove – Sasuke's humanity.

We neared a shady tree. Then, Sai reached into his bag and pulled out a small book. His face dropped its impish smirk for a moment while his eyes traced the pages. I took a seat and looked up towards him scrupulously. The book's title was covered by his hand with the exception of the word "the". Sai noticed me noticing the book and shot me a smile before tucking his book away and sitting down next to me, "You don't talk much," he said as if he were annoyed.

I became conscious of my quietness and put my hands up in defense, "I'm sorry!"

"Well, yeah, it's weird." Although I meant that apology, I didn't expect him so rude in his reply. Sasuke was watching us again while hiding from Naruto who thought he'd went in an entirely different direction. Sai glanced up at me and his voice became coy, "I think Sasuke's looking at us."

"Really?" I tried to act surprised.

"How's about we put on a show?" his ice cold hands slid up my shirt and grazed the bare skin of my waist. What kind of game was he playing? And how far would he go?

I shrieked, "Sasuke!"


End file.
